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Marriage and Family: Why Christmas can be hard on marriage?

December 02, 2015

Sometimes Christmas is not always "Tis' the season to be jolly!"  For many couples, the chaos that happens around Christmas can be hard on their marriage. The truth is, sometimes, Christmas can be hard on a marriage. "Bah-hum bug" can show up and before you even know it, you've experienced the ending scenes of Christmas vacation.  So, if you want to keep this from happening in your home this Christmas, here are two things to watch out for in order to have a Merry Marriage Christmas

First, Christmas can be hard because of "unrealistic expectations" - this goes for everything from how you hope the visits with your families and friends go, to the money you spend, to the gifts you get (or don't), to the personal pressure you put on yourself to create the perfect Christmas morning.  One way we help couples work toward this is to have them communicate what they hope happens over the Christmas holidays.  YOu need to talk about how much money your going to spend, where you are going, when it's happening and how Christmas looks to you.

Second, Christmas can be hard because of  "unresolved conflict" - We've seen this over and over again in marriage.  Unresolved conflict is like a "sore that never heals"  It just lingers like a fog on an early morning drive, hovering and covering so you can't see your way.  Christmas can be stressful for many marriages.  The spending more than you should, the grind of going and going, the extended family stress, all of this can trigger places in your hearts that show up in "quick tempers", "snippy and snide replies", "cold shoulders" and even rejection of one another.  If you're not careful, these can lead you toward small and large arguments, undermining and erroding your Christmas.  What a masterful plan by Satan...doesn't it make sense that above all things, the last thing he wants you to do is to celebrate Jesus and HIS birth. To distract you from the "real reasong for the season!" Don't be a tool in his hand this Christmas by letting unresolved conflict go unresolved

Action point for you and your spouse:

Between now and mid December, set a date night, go for a walk, grab a cup of coffee at the kitchen table and share your expectations and desires, even and especially your fears about the upcoming Christmas holidays. If there is unresolved conflict, do your part to be at peace with your spouse (Rom. 12:18), forgive because you have been forgiven. Scripture reminds us to "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you" (Eph. 4:32).  This Christmas, fight for unity remembering your spouse is not your enemy, they are your ally, so work hard to stay on the same page because a house divided (Mark 3:25) can never stand.  Do these things and we believe you can head off some of the crazy, chaotic, merry Christmas stealing, killing and destroying that our adversary loves to do this time of year.

Leave a comment:

What is one thing you do to keep from getting lost in the chaos that happens around Christmas?


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